Valentine’s day. A day of Love. Yet as I awaken, I am filled with rage and indignation. Despite the amazingly beautiful and expansive events of the previous day, disgust and bile rises from within. Deep, deep hatred for the self, for Peter and for the nature of the human plane in general, blossoms.
Though I have anchored myself into this realm and healed the majority of the shadows, I wonder how much longer I shall shift between shadow and the brightlands on the bifrost.
I feel the underplanes of the Mythica. The tensions and agitations within my form affecting my access to Grace. The rage burns within, obscuring my vision, demanding more process, more sadhana . I remain convinced that I must clear my nervous system to maintain my access and step deeper into the realms of prosperity, healing the wounds at last.
At last, i’ve managed to clear the shifting tones upon my lens of perception to have access to and create a video which I can share with my allies on facebook. In the fields beneath, I track the sensations to the power, heart and root chakras, breathing intentional forgiveness into them in effort to open the channel of mana such to dissolve the as-yet-resolving patterns in the subconscious which block my access.
Pushing through the resistance and the agitation, I begin the process of sending asks to the people. While we have not secured the monies for the temple, Satya is being extremely gracious, and so we work diligently, doing our best to maintain an open channel within the self in effort to manifest the monies to ground the temple into form.
In one sense, I am exctited, for our long-standing efforts have produced so much. In another, there is simpl so much anger still unresolved that it is difficult to hold onto the positivity. To discern, to surrender and Trust that I will be able to be secure in this place.
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