Braid – The Eros Wound

In 2009, the Quest led Peter to Livingwell — a nature spirit sanctuary in the Deadwood forest of Oregon, consecrated to the nature spirits and on the borderland between Faerie and the common world. First meeting with Mark McNutt (starseer) and Marygold McNutt (earth witch). Here Peter encountered a major movement around sexual energy and right use of power. His intuition said ‘don’t’ but a woman’s assurance of polyamory overrode it; the encounter caused rage and consequence (keys thrown into brush, days of sitting in it). A second similar incident occurred. The Eros wound — distortion around charisma and right use of power — was a family line pattern.

This thread tracks the Eros wound as a central long arc of the Quest: loneliness, longing, sexual/creative energy, and the gradual education into intimacy and earth-patterns.

Key strands to hold together:
– Loneliness + exile frequency: the long solitary stretches and the need for comfort/soothing
– Self-stimulation (masturbation) as sleep aid / regulation / anesthesia: a recurring coping pattern with consequences (energy leakage, shame/relief cycles, drift)
– Longing for companionship with women / many lovers: desire as fuel + desire as distortion
– “Conan the Barbarian” imprint: relational myth learned through heroic/tryst/tavern dynamics; later recognition of immaturity relative to true intimacy
– Earth element deficit: not understanding the patterns of earth that sustain relationship (continuity, rhythm, repair, practicality, embodied presence)
– Family-line sanskara: inherited grooves shaping Eros, attachment, and self-worth
– Right use of power/influence: the ethics of charisma, projection, consent, and responsibility
– Projection field: other people’s stories landing onto you; navigating boundaries and discernment
– Eros in the Principles of Myth: Eros as a cosmological force (desire, attraction, life-force) that needs integration, not suppression
– Telos: longing for true love / hieros gamos (inner marriage + outer partnership) and the maturing of sexual/creative energy into devotion, artistry, and stable love

Additional arc (Kali Yuga / Aka of sexuality / Ethos restoration):
– Track the gradual recognition that this was not only “personal struggle,” but also the processing of your portion of a broader distortion in the Aka of sexuality / life-force (Kali Yuga atmosphere, family-line grooves, and collective field).
– Clarify how the restoration of life-force happens through right-relationship: discipline, consent, intimacy, truth, embodied care, and the ethical geometry of Ethos (right use of power) as it matures over time.
– Emphasize the slow-forming nature of this realization: like everything else on the Quest, the pattern became legible only as enough impressions accumulated.

Use this thread to link:
– Soil chapters where the Eros wound is foregrounded (lonely nights, relationship initiations, heartbreaks, vows, sexual discipline breakthroughs)
– Book chapters / entries about Eros, desire, sexuality, right use of power, intimacy, and earth-pattern embodiment
– Story Influences that shaped Eros scripts (e.g., Conan) and their later re-interpretation

Cross-links:
– Pairs with “Sky to Earth” (Eros becomes intelligible as Earth comes online)
– Pairs with “Avalon / Round Table / Excalibur” (right use of power, vows, sovereignty)
– Pairs with “Sophia lineage” / Goddess devotion (Eros as part of devotion, not opposed to it)