I’m lying on the couch in my mother’s apartment, where the sounds of the city hammer on my senses, simultaneously overstimulated and inspired by the events that happened yesterday (which i’ll have to do in a non-sequential post because that’s-what-is) when I returned to the towne I grew up in and had a deeply spiritual experience of coming-home-again which involved the spirit of my deceased brother, throne of stone and the blossoming of a field of lotus in the most uncharacteristic of places – all content that could easily be placed into the Mythica.

The sense of the Judaic line that I come from is strong here, not the least of which was the journey to my father’s grave, his placement at the edges of “North” and “Ezra” and what that implied for me in my long journey back to the Commonwealth from the years of the Quest. It’s meaningful, and while I do not entangle myself with the singularity of any one system-of-belief, the nature of lineage is not lost on me, and the movement along my timeline through those realms (a Jewish cemetery, the multiple temples arranged within the township, the flush and flurry of churning minds at the library and more) feels to flesh out the nature of that lineage and my own Ezra-like quality of bringing the scriptures of the New Earth back to the people.

Honestly i’m deeply processing. Being here in the city is agitating. I don’t know if it’s the horrendously expensive cost-of-living or the constant movement, the madness & majesty of my families line and my own seership or something else, but I feel pieces moving beneath the surface stirring up old and new things in clash and clamor.

I feel there can be victory for the Mythica’s publication here, that I possess the awareness and clarity to showcase what i’ve been on about all these years to the people, that I have gathered enough information on my quest to frame the nature of the quest itself and give the people the machinery to discover their own path and purposes in it’s wake – all such things are possible, I just wish my body would relax and my mind settle, for I feel uncomfortable simply being in my skin – flickering between what feels like an earthy sense of moving through the world and it’s patterns and the skywise perspective of the clouds.

The Judaic thing is real. I’ve known for some time if I could utilize my families association with the lineage to facilitate the Mythica yet personally do not feel aligned with the idea of one system, one Logos, above any other – such is the very distortion of illusory separation that prevents right moral action in the first place. Nonetheless, the possibility exists, and I feel closer-than-ever to presenting the fullness of the Mythica in such a manner that facilitates the awakening I feel is shared by myself and my fellow ambassadors of the New Earth.

… I don’t need that much money. As I told my mother, 1000 people at $10/month would give me $10,000/month, more than enough to live and travel to where I need to whilst spreading the word of the Mythica – it’s all really been about designing the temple clearly enough so the people could understand what I was presenting to them and it’s value.

In other news, I saw a post by Anna Bliss talking about how she was eating less and less and considering whether this was a sign of “ascension”. It reminded me again of the tabula rasa of my own entry point, how unadorned I came in from the karmic patternings that define such definitions, it’s the quintessence of my gradually-coming-to-see what my fellow ambassadors of awakening have even truly been on about in their declarations, at the very substrate of identity that makes up those old and new traditions and their assumptions of shared vocabulary. In short, it took me years to understand what people were even talking about regarding the idea of “Ascension” and the various “foretold” shifts in consciousness divined within the consciousness of the people.

Like all things, it speaks to the question – Why am I?, what is the purpose of this incarnation, and the revelation of that purpose as it exists in the world. It is the “Ezra” thing, in it’s manner, where i’ve seen the lineage that i’ve come from as well as the patternings around it speaking to karmic entanglements with other Seekers, Magicians, Kings, Queens, Djedi and all manner of characters arriving in synchronicity on my path, and how characters like Bradford, Niekko, Jo, Elana, and so many others all speak to that deeper weaving, that story-within-the-story that I built the Mythica to show the people and it’s context in the journey to a more heavenly earth.

It is this idea of causality that sits beneath all things. The idea of will and effort, of trust, faith, and the whole process of being human in the first place.

We can’t even act without being informed into the nature of that action, and when our nervous system is fried we can barely do anything at all. While i’ve come to understand this and see the nigh-endless marketplace of state-change and it’s various alchemies of relating, this, like the assumption of Galactic context that I sense behind Anna’s words, has flickered in and out of my consciousness as a stable object, where again it feels like I am looking down at the world from a tower, gradually finding the mud between my toes thick with the shards of rusted metal that separate our many tribes from the simplicity of the Garden herself.

The implication here is clear to me, no matter the outer form of our movement, all the people wish to return to the brighter, more clarified sense of themselves. They speak of ascension, of the various ways to relate to one another, and all of these things are themselves part of a larger structuring, an unfoldment of life and lifetimes across a multitude of incarnations defined by the ignorance of that process.

There’s a recognition in this of my own caliber and quality as a prophet, though a part of me is reticent to use the term for it’s associations, yet I confess a real quality of what can be considered enlightened realization into the nature of self and it’s story that is a by-product of that selfsame lack of experience with the mortal condition or at least the processing of much of the patterns which made up that condition within the lineage of my line. I say this because the very terms of causality of which I speak are the clear genesis of my relationship with Jo, Niekko and the others, I did, after all, incarnate into a Judaic bloodline, I have had encounters with Rosicrucian, Masonic and other faiths along the way, and it is the redemption of these relationships through one’s actions that feels to be the journey back to the Garden itself, the recognition of our unity and the right relationship to their various aspects of that self which resolves the illusion of separation from a place of clear-seeing.

At the least the writing gives me some breath. It calms my nervous system to an extent, and I feel a certain clarity come with it. In this, the challenge has always been the same, and in coming back to (New) York and the movements through my childhood there is both trauma and treasure, all wrought to the substance of my story and it’s lineage.

I consider my circumstances. Were the Mythica out and published, were my allies rallied and the value shown to the people in a way that they can digest, I may not be in conditions of such baseline poverty, subject to repetitions of relationship with my inner family which offer no new ground.

Yet such is not the case, leaving me to wonder, as I always do, at what I could have done to circumvent such experience, if there were some action I could have taken besides the simple acceptance of things which feel tangled and unclear, wrought to questioned patterns of shadow-work and subconscious avoidance, not fully knowing if parts of me are avoiding the confrontation or conversation with the patterns of the people that I see in microcosm here in the tower.

In this I feel the very substance of all process work, all twisted entanglements and the forced necessity of “compassionate tolerance” for being unseen and unheard, the childe within me still crying out to be received by beings who cannot see beyond their own repetitions and where I am demanded into negotiation that does not see my value beyond their own regard.

Were my work published and the recognition of that value properly regarded, at least one piece of the puzzle would be clear; yet here again lay the question – could I have done anything else before these moments? Have I not truly been on a journey of understanding the basic premise of the journey of ignorance and enlightenment into the nature of self and it’s story from a place of innocence?

Again and again, it comes to the deep questions – where is the moment when we realize that we cannot see? What is the process of becoming clear?

Over the past month I have built out the plugins for the Mythica, gradually forming the substrate of a place to share our stories, to see how we are all connected, to facilitate a new education which honors the people, places and events of the emergent New Earth whilst giving form and framework to what the world has been and it’s potential solution.

Everything I have done, the building of Akashi, the forging of the divination device, the form of storytelling and it’s example, the intent to share the stories of the people and present a new form of redemptive media free from the crass repetitions of the old styles of manipulation and constant merchantile, the weaving of the GPS and the MPS in effort to give people the “game world” that felt so beautifully resonant in the radiance I shared with Bradford at his estate, all part of my diligent effort to make the best out of what I was given, to understand the suffering of the mortal plane and what gives rise to the endless dirge of alchemies designed to make the best out of what is.

☉ Leo · Summer

“What is the best way to work with the energies between me and my mother?”

New Moon · 1% lit

40.78, -73.94

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