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peterfae posted an update
2023-7-11 –
Another night of shadow-stroking, waking and then putting myself back to sleep, wanting to just get away from Life while also recognizing my movement towards the greater realms and the victory of the Mythica coming together with easement – a sign of clarity in the Aka.
As I awaken, Nature Dreamweaver appears in the field again, telling me about this shamanic musician that he knows who’s playing in Grass Valley tonight. Moreso, he tells me of a huge opening, that he has been invited to a gathering of indigenous Elders and they want him to do a mandala for them (with their culturally-relative iconography of course). Simultaneous to this, I get an email from a being from the Avalonian mythos who is putting together a whole thing.
More than this, Adrienne informs me that she had her stuff stolen and must go through ar rebirth, Jesse’s mother passed, Dakota sends me a voice message, Joshua comes back into the field and Cassandra and I are moving towards Palo Alto.
I see these things, as I sit on the mountain, and realize that this is all part of the Great Story, all part of the larger story that connects us all, bringing our tales and tellings into a coherence. I realize that my position is that of the Elder on the mountain, the Worldwalker, presenting the Mythica to the people as a map of their myth and the landscape of their legend.
While this is happening, the agitation with the pattern between Cassandra and I continues to agitate me. There is the feeling that I am in an impasse with her, that anything I say runs into her attachment to her prophecy of “truth” between her and I and it feels entrapping and disrespectful to my needs. I find myself not wanting to get a lease with her, not wanting to be connected to her in any way, to simply get away from it. There is the sense of wanting to introduce her to the larger world that i’m a part of while also wanting to make sure that her subconscious desires towards me are broken and there is a cutting of chords.
Of course, it brings up my own shadows, the long journey of coming to support myself through my work and to clear my own relationship with the Aka of Sexuality. In the subtle fields below the surface of the world, I feel myself moving towards the ideal, that which Dakota was a hint of, that which Adrienne was a hint of, that the relations with Cassandra are best seen as a clearing of those energies.
