“The Golden Path”
"The Golden Path" – 2015-5-2 – The Gene Keys
ARCHIVE TEXT
The Golden Path
Curious and wishing to honour the efforts Amma Li has made with the Gene Keys, I visit Onedoorland one again, intent on discovering their interpretation of my human Self and it’s supposed dynamic …
I am led to the Gene Keys Living Library; part of the ascending form of the Galactic. For some time I have seen the development of this thing in the creative enclaves of Onedoorland. As I come to see the library; it strikes me once again how isolated I have been. Here, I see collaborations from Lucidity; from CoSm, from all these places. Places that I am in frequency with; yet for all my efforts to have collaborative synarchy; have not aligned.
It is disheartening; for I have done so much work. The feeling of being unreceived across the board is terribly saddening. As always, I use inner discipline to hold no one responsible save myself; wondering and asking the Divine why for all the attainments and nobilities I have achieved that I have felt so often like a pariah amongst my Galactic kin.
It would be unfair to say that I am not received; in Truth, many of my fellow avatars receive me; yet it seems a passing thing; they claim to wait on the solidity of the Mythica; which is and of itself a sadness. Why, I asked, had the right individuals not appeared for me; as they did for each other?
I AM met in Faerie. By the tribes of the Green, my brethren amongst the fae and fauna. It is the beautiful, primal essence of the Mother; holding us close in her embrace.
It is an older thing, a thing of the Earthen planes. Of the ancient kinship of faeries and humankind. Here I am received greatly, for such are the Queendoms of my Kingship.
I love my faerie-kin. Yet such is the olde World; and I am bound for the new. Here to bridge the realms, opening within the Self that I may help ferry the human condition to her next iteration.
Though my Heart beats true for the ancient lineages, it is the Galactic, the inspired devotion to God; that feels to fulfill.
For years I have watched their manifestation; one of Love, one of sanctuary; of being met and fed by the great Life Force of the Collective. Where they would happily collaborate with each other; adding their Gifts to the shared Light. Not for money, but for Love. A Love of a shared dharma and destiny.
For years this sweet ambrosia had been denied me; demanding more and more self-sustenance; learning to support myself through the energies of the Goddess herself; in my Heart I always ached for that collaboration. To be met. To be fulfilled. In Resonance. It is, after all, a certain feeling, one that is very distinctive; the feeling of being LOVED. It plays out in the most basic of circumstance; beings calling You just to talk, sweet invitations to deeper intimacy; a sanctuary of Hearth and Home. Yet even as I write this, I am isolate. In my cave, working on the Mythica to bring this Gift to the World.
So many times I have reached out. So many times have I adjusted myself in order to fit into the Collective; to learn the things that were unknown to me in what has felt like a newborn status into the material plane. I have called and cajoled, and opened my Heart whenever the feeling held me in it’s embrace. I have offered collaboration; have offered to share profits, have wished to document and connect the Great Story of our heroic journeys; together, as the emergent dawn of humanity.
And I have hated this. To feel that scarcity within the chest, to ache for company and be refused, to have the tickle of connection only to find oneself isolated time and again; with only the sacred Wolf as my blessed company. As I say, it is not that I am not received. In fact, many beings of bright candor are open to me; I have been blessed to have company with Great Lights upon the skin of the World.
Yet to look at the matrices of Light beneath the Living Library of the Gene Keys, to SEE, with my fae eyes, the interweave of Lucidity, the Gene Keys, CoSm, to feel that I am * right there *, and yet somehow slightly out-of-sync; or to suspect that in the oft-subtle distortions of the Shadowlands; is a most terrible thing. Surely beings of inquisitive contest could suggest that there are bright lights in my Life; and they would be right. They could say that, from their gaze, I am deeply received. Yet such has not been the feeling in my Heart; day after day; year after year; watching the circumstance evolve around me; demanded to find sustenance from the deva in lieu of human contact. I cannot count the number of times I have reached out and wished to join the parade; only to find little resonance in time and circumstance. How many times I have shifted my own vibration, attempting to find purchase; and worse, oft finding the awareness of the beings with whom I sought refuge to be questionable in their discernment. Many times I would question, was it a false arrogance within me, or did I truly understand the nature of the unfoldment? In the observance of the subtleties of mine and others Paths that is my siddhic virtue, it seemed the latter rather than the former.
I have approached with humility; and not been met by it in return. I have approached with openness, and not felt the resonance. It has occurred across the board. I wanted so much to share these Gifts with the World; these Revelations, and it has not happened; yet. I have asked and inquired what I could do to change it, and received nothing. Barring that, all one can do is divine on their own and clear the shadows, holding the line of Hope in the face of a stormy sky.
I would know if it was happening. Realmsign of such a thing would be beings calling me, including me; wishing to interact. Realmsign would be beings appearing to collaborate with me as they’ve collaborated with others; not for the old-paradigm of mercenary dollars, but for the new paradigm of our shared inspiration. Just as they’ve done with one another.
As I have mentioned many times in my wanderings; this is, as far as I can tell, my first iteration, or at least a minimal entry into the human plane. The plane of material form. I have no choice but to accept and move through it. For years I struggled with the chaos of it the deluge of sensation that washed and pounded me into the ground. Such was the very unstoppable inertia that demanded I create the Mythica; a means of digesting and disseminating the various worlds of Shadow and Siddhi. To illustrate to the People; and my Self, the beauteous connection of our shared heroism; the interwoven webwork of our collective destiny.
After having no allies to collaborate with that appeared in constancy, I simply drove myself to task. I would fulfill my Purposing, to bring this beauty to the World; this cycle of my human Life.
It has hurt, so very much. And I have done so much work. I have traveled from the mudpits of madness to the mansions of majesty and back again; clearing and cleansing my way; a True Knight on Heroic Journey to the redemption of Eden, Herself. In aspiration to change the circumstance, recognizing that only I could shift the shadows within the Self and clear the detritus that was my responsibility to the resolving human condition; I have worked and worked and worked. It’s funny. I don’t normally feel the ancestors of this body. So often have I identified with the fae aspect of my being; the elemental essence that grants me vision of the realms beyond time and space from whence I came. Yet tonight, I feel them, and they are sorrowful for me; this burden and blessing that I have been given. It is a terrible and beautiful Gift, for at last I have deep compassion for the human condition; for beings struggling through the birth of their own Selves; inflamed by pressures within their skin. I know their psychosis well, for such has been the very mud to which I was dropped upon entry into this World.
And so I embark on yet another movement. Exploring this currently vogue medium of Self-divination. I have risen before, and I shall rise again; regardless of those who cannot appreciate my virtues. It is not that I am not wise or perceptive. Nor that I am not received. Far from it. Many aspects of the Creation have unveiled for me; yet this knotwork; this deep desire to be met, to be in flush relation, has barely given opportunity for me to learn. Mine has been the demanded evolution of the Self.
Oft I have considered, were my Self flush with the mechanisms of the mortal plane, the imprints and patterns incarnates take for granted in their interactions, events would have played out differently. For many years I have had to both learn these imprints as a newborn * and * distill out the distortions that felt improper in their presentation.
Long have I longed for right partnership; not only in singular, but communal aspect. One in which we are enhancing each other with our Divine Gifts. One where the feeling, that exquisite feeling of connection and expansive collaboration were there. Such things are found in community or communion with the Divine. Without it, even the mightiest of oaks wither and die.
“Weaving Light”
I return to Onedoorland, this time to receive the divination of my gene keys from Lady Amma Lightweaver …
Responses